I’m not the man you want…

Looking for spark

That’s right, I’m not. And I would be good with that.

For a long time now I have helped and supported people to overcome various problems, reach targets, generally improve certain aspects of their lifestyle. Believe me it is an awesome feeling to see that smile when those targets are reached, milestones passed or just to relieve the stress that was getting them down.

But when the journey starts, when anyone feels down or is starting to ponder a healthier lifestyle, I am the last person to be thought of. First thoughts are along the lines of self help, which in itself is great. I believe that we should all spend time looking after ourselves. I believe it is a duty to make sure we are okay. That way we can be there for us and those close to us. And others. Those first thoughts of going to the gym, eating healthier, looking online for stress relief options is good. It shows that we know there’s a problem and we are looking for a solution.

Too often people go gung ho, try to change everything at once, which in itself becomes too much and that initial thought process dwindles back into a kind of procrastination. Basically it’s about changing small things at a time, creating little habits.

There is a sequence to change. The initial phase is Precontemplation. You know there is a problem but little is done about it at first. I’ll manage. Then there is Contemplation. Yes there is a problem and the search for an answer begins, but with no real commitment.

Then the positive changes in behaviour begin to happen. The next stage is Preparation, and this is where the intent to address the problem starts to grow, followed by Action – behaviours are modified in the attempt to make those changes. You have that initial motivation, inspiration and feel good about these changes.

Each stage can be commended because of the motivation for change. Yes, you feel there is a problem in your life that needs addressing, and yes, it is hard to change. One of the hardest phases is Maintenance, as in this stage those changes, the small alterations to your behaviour have to be sustained. Those little healthier habits you’ve formed have to be maintained in order to accomplish what you want to gain.

At any point in this sequence there is the possibility of a Relapse. That’s human nature, but something that should NOT be taken as failure. It is a chance to learn – realise what caused the relapse to occur, get back on the proverbial bike and avoid the same pitfall.

It may be a struggle, and there will be times when that extra bit of motivation is required. You want to do it, you are determined to do it. Sometimes the light goes out, or you can’t see the signpost. Then I may be given a thought. 

As a Life Coach, as a Personal Trainer, I have the options, the advice and motivation. I am the guy you can talk to and realise what is ahead and what you need to do. I don’t always have the answers, but we work together to find the solution. I’m the sounding board, a spark plug that gives you the extra impetus to reach your targets.

You can do this. Be strong, know what you want and be determined to get it. You are enough. I am not the person you want, you can do this. Just remember that you are not alone, and if you happen to need an extra push, a shoulder to lean on, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

The important stuff stays. You can do this.

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